It’s not worth it

Fighting blows!I, especially when you fight with people you love more than anything. I just finished a fight with my best friend and also! the guy I’m inlove with. Your asking me why are you fighting with the person you love? Ha well that’s funny you ask that because I have no idea…. One of my friends use to always tell me “your best friend is the person you fight with the most” and at first I was like, yeah that makes sense and it sounds pretty true but now I’m thinking, why on earth would your best friend be the person you hurt ?  that doesnt even make since because you should be getting along and loving your best friend more than anyone. As of right now I feel pretty lame and hurt and I’m starting to realize that I did most of the hurting. Usally when I’m upset I like to blow off some steam with running or doing something that keeps my mind from thinking about all the problems and the feelings I have going on with my life. Other times I like to express myself through writing.(Like I’m doing now) most of the time I can write inspiring things But all I can write about now is how (bad I feel). That doesn’t sound anything close to inspiring. I know everything will turn out the way it’s supposed to be but what am I supposed to if this pattern keeps repeating itself?..I don’t think I can handle doing this forever. I don’t think anyone even wants to put up with this stuff forever. It seems like some of the easiest things in life always are the hardest, at least usually that’s how I feel. My life has ovbiously proven to NOT be perfect in any shape or form. I just wish I had the answer to Everything and that I knew how to handle these situations better. I’m more dissappointed about the fighting and aruging, than the actual reasons I have fights over. If I could get one message across here it would have to be….It’s not worth it. It’s not worth the 20 minutes of you thinking ( I’m “never” going to talk to him again)  than after that time is up , you now start realizing that you might have screwed up the chances of that person ever wanting to talk to you again. We all say stupid stuff when we are upset and most of us are just speaking out of the hurt or anger in the moment. So yeah, it’s never worth having that feeling of thinking (wow I wish I never said that).

I wish I could take it back. The fighting and the crying and the way I made you feel. I hope you can forgive me and know I was just being crazy and that I’m still crazy about you. I love you for all your flaws and even all the reasons we fight for. You are who you are and I would never change that. I respect you and I’m truely proud of the person you are and I hope you know you will always have a place in my heart. I never want to live without you because even 1 day without you…..well it’s no life at all..I love you and I mean it and I hope when you hear me say it that you’ll agree with saying you love me too.

Devotional

Lately I’ve been trying to keep a steady routen with reading my Bible. Right now I’m reading in John and I loveeee it. Honestly I can’t get enough of it, which is probably why I’m reading it again. John talks about Christ thoughtout the whole book. How He lived his life, how He grew from a child into a man, how He preforms miracles on many occasions and even when He was tempted by Satan. As I began to read in John it really rated to me because I got to see how chirst as a man lived so purely and lived in a world of sin but did not sin. It makes me strive all the more to talk and walk as Jesus did. As I read about every obstical God went through and how it’s pertrayed through stories in the Bible I started to compare how I do things and how Jesus did them. John 14:14 says( If you ask, anything in My name I will do it) I cired once I read that scripture and I dont know why because those words are so simple and can be looked at with different perspectives but I just found that simple sentence so encouraging and so real and incredibly true to me. I know God allows things to happen that we can’t always understand and I also know that God doesnt always give us everything we want but he absolutely gives us everything that we need!. I went back to a time(in my memory) where I was completely lost and the only real person close to my heart that I had to turn to was Christ. I finally reached the place where I said.”okay this is it. I’m done”. I couldnt keep fighting this battle alone and I knew I was not supposed to be in this mess and it certainly was not Gods plan for my life. Yeah of course! I had my doubts because I was in a deep misrible pit and I was scared and felt alone and lost and I had little faith left. So I pushed myself and I kept on reading my Bible and kept talking to God because he was the only one that seemed to really listen and understand. I kept asking God for forgivness and strengh and to help me to get through this just as he seemed to get through all his situations. If he did it then so could I. God is still helping me to get through this and I cant say I’d be where I’m at now without His love and His Help.I’m so grateful to finally know that anything and EVERYTHING is possible with God. So have faith and trust and ask in Gods name and He will provide.

JOHN 14:14

If you ask, anything in My name I will do it.

The better way

Have you ever had something so great happen in your life than it gets taken away from you?…Well most people will experience or feel that way at some point in their lives.I have and yes other great things have happened since those times But Somtimes I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if that one thing hadn’t been taken away. what would life be like if nothing changed. I wonder who I would be today?..maybe I would be differen’t or maybe I wouldn’t be differen’t at all..Only God knows.I don’t think there is a day that go’s by that I don’t think about what my life would be like without THIS thing or THAT thing or this or that person because there lots of things in my life right now that I do not what to change. Some things that involve my future and the person I would love to spend the rest of my life with. God is sooo unexpected with everything he does in peoples life and yeah it would be really awesome if we could just schdule a time for him to talk to us so we could  just get to planning the rest of our lifes out, but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way and if it did than why would we even need God? We all have a picture of what we want our futures to like..weither its with someone we want to be with or something we want to do with our lives, we all have these pictures in our minds what we want our lives to be like. Some of us will get the futures that they want but! THINK about this. If we choose to trust God with all our confusion and all our uncertianties and all hard times we will all go through in life than and not know what anything will turn out to be but in the end we will not only have the life God planned for us but also the happiness that we all want and even more than we ever could have, just by trusting in God instead of trusting in our plans that Maybe will happen. I’m not sure what my future will be like or who will be apart of my future, (heck) I’m not even sure really want I want to do with my life..but I know that I don’t need to worry about any of it because God is working on all that right now. His way is soo much better than the way I could ever plan myself.

New Years Resolution

[Diaries are pointless anymore because apparently whats your buisness is now everyone elses buisness to. which is why I've decided to just make a public diary right here!.. well we are still alive! and as Jay sean would say "we're gonna party like it's the end of the world!" anyways..I'm trying to figure out my new years resolution still ( any ideas?)  Recently I've been trying to start reading my bible more often. its going pretty good but its hard to keep it going because I have soo many destractions and it's actually difficult to just sit there..... and be a patient and just read......thats not normal for me. I guess I could break the habit of being impatient but thats not really a habit.....Maybe instead of breaking a habit I should start a habit!...THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA! yes this new years I'm going to make instead of breaking a habit. I'm going to make a habit of reading my bible:) There ya goo!..Now I just have to be patient and stay really focused...Hope everyone new years and and new years resolution Go's awesome:) and happy new years!

2011 update

Hi.

it’s been awhile and when I say “awhile” It’s been quite along time since I’ve update here on my blog.

So much has gone on the past year and I have tons of stuff to tell everyone.

God had taken me on phyiscal, emotional and spiritual rollaroaster in this season of my life and to be honest it was very unexcepted and I was not prepared.

I got in alittle bit of some trouble this summer by not making the right choices and not going where God wanted to take me but I have to say that doing what I did and going through everything I went through was and is defiantly apart of Gods plan for my life and I am excited to tell you all about this adventure.

My passionate side

Living right near the beach and right across from the intercostal has it’s way with me. Most people I know would say they have a poassionate side to them or just something their passionate about well I guess you could say that I kinda have a passionate side of me.I absolutely love!!! nature and the beach and the sound of wind and breeze and I love watching the sun set, especially right as its getting dark and all the colors in the sky are so exaggerated. Nature is soo beautiful and every time I look at the beauty of the world I can’t help but think wow!.. My God is soo AWESOME to have created such extraordinary things. I don’t understand how some people dont believe in anything. How could you not believe theres a christ or not believe in ANYTHING at all when you live in a world with such beautiful things that is impossible for any man to have created or comprehend. I’m constantly blown away by Gods Greatness and the things like nature and life which are all apart the ways Gods shows us His love. I know when I take time to appreicate the world and life that God has provided for me, He looks down with a smile and I can’t help but smile too. God is so awesome and nature is just one of the many things that proves there IS a God and He IS awesome

Celebrities

People have told me I should try acting but I just don’t know how I feel about having an even more less normal life than I already have now. You would I would love the the poparazzi following me everywhere and being stalked and Harassed everyday of my life but I’m just not sure. I like my privacy and I like walking around town and not having to worry about people watching my every move or taking this bad picture of me while I’m talking or eating and make up some lame story like “So whats up with victoria today? Looks like shes looking pretty ugly and Fat” Yeah I totally love that kind of stuff being said about me..Don’t get me wronge it’s kinda funny but I bet it has to be sooo annoying for the people that have to read that stuff about them. I know this is a random subject to be talking about but I find it kinda stupid when I look in every magazine and some loser writes crap about things that people read because they have no lives (like me) and I bet those people writing those things are the ugliest people, who have no lives themselves. That’s why I am not so sure how I feel about getting into all that stuff just yet. But I could change my mind in a few years?..I Respect those celebrites that can read  all the stuff thats said about them and just laugh!…I would

The Teenage life

I have to Say…Life gets complicating sometime’s. Most people think being a teenager is soo (EASY).Actually it’s not. When your me a girl and about to be 15. you have a bunch going on in your life.Puberity, Drama, BOYS! and to top it off Parents that never get off your back.I would say my life is pretty good:).If I could though I’d change a few things and I know I’m not supposed to want that because God obviously has my life going this direction for a reason…Lets talk about Puberity first shall we?..well Me being a girl and having my Period monthly doesn’t really affect how I live.  I know that whenever I get mad randomly or wanna cry over something really stupid that is just normal for a Me. I never said going through puberity is such a bad thing I mean I’m happy I’m 5.4.  I’m happy when I sing I don’t sound like a chipmunck. I’m happy I’m not this little skinny girl who weighs 80 pounds..Everyone has to start Puberity eventually.I know I started going through mine like what? 2 years ago?. I’m still going growing into a Young Woman…Know lets talk about Drama?…When your Teenager even when your not,  Theres always Drama all the time!! especially in high school..Girls are Fighting over guys. Guys are fighting over girls. I mean It’s really annoying.I personally hate Drama Even though I’m usually in it.thats usually how it is. I come from a family of 4 sisters and No matter what the matter of the problem is.It’s not just one of my sister’s problems. It turns out that its my WHOLE families Problem.I honestly don’t care to hear about all my sister’s buisness about what she did or said to her “Boyfriend” that  hurt his feelings.I mean the dude needs to grow up and be a man.My sister need’s to start learning how to make some sense with her words. I’m not talking bad about anyone cause I love my sister and her “Friend”…Last on the list would be Boys!..If Your a girl and reading this don’t get to excited about it this. It’s not all lovey dovey stuff that you think it is… it’s serious talk…Right now I have a few guys liking me I’m not trying to sound conceited when I say this, but it’s always been like that.I feel bad because I honestly don’t Like anyone of them, not because there ugly or anything.I just rather be there friend’s.Besides for me Liking a guy it gets very complicated.I’m not even aloud to date till I’m 18!!.you would think that would make the guy understand that nothing is going to happy between you and him but some guys just never give up.I always get soo confused whenever I think i might like someone because it’s usually one of my friends’s and I can’t ever figure out if it’s just me thinking (ohhh he’s really cute but just a friend) or (ohh he’s really cute I think I might like him)..I really hope as I get older I’ll be able to figure out who I do and Don’t like for the sake of my future. I mean I don’t wanna date the guy I love and end up liking someone else to!..ugh Guys are make my head spin..Anyone else?

well Thanks for reading my Blog I’ll Probably be posting something New soon:) Btw if anyone has any requests on something they want me to write about or possibly give advice on I’m here:)

Catching up

WOW!!!

This is my first time Back on WordPress in alongggggg! time. I think it’s been almost a year If I’m correct. I’ve just been super crazy with my church mission trip in Baton Rouge, which was amazing and on top of that I was busy with Dancing 247 but I finally had my dance recital but that was ealier when school got out. Summer just ended and it was awesome I can’t decide if it was better than last summer or not, but I defiantly got alot closer to all my friends and made new friends.everything was great except I kept getting grounded but thats like normal for me I guess but that was the only down fall but it I got through it and still had a great summer. I defiantly enjoyed summer 2010 but now its time to get ready for school/ dance and less beach everyday:(…I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think I’m kinda ready for Winter anyways.

MISSIN SUMMER 2010 

Have you ever changed for someone?

Have you ever changed for someone so much it become who you were completely? well I did. Soon I wasn’t myself around my friends, wasn’t alway’s happy and wouldn’t hug my friend’s like before. Like it seemed they didn’t matter anymore and soon I wouldn’t do the thing’s I did before that made me, ME!… I didn’t realize it until I changed my feelings for the guy.I don’t regret what I did but I wish I wouldn’t have been this person who everyone knew I really wasn’t. I know now that no matter how aweosome a guy makes me feel that I won’t change for him but that I’ll be myself and he’ll like me for me:)